Driving the message home
Our car is a useful machine and that’s as far as it goes. Well, it goes quite a lot further than that, which is what makes it useful, but you know what I mean; it is not a reflection of either of our personalities or social status, or an expression of our egos. It is not any kind of statement; it is a car.
But that doesn’t stop me wondering about some of the strange names which car makers choose to dub them. ‘Boosterjet’ is one of the more infantile examples I’ve seen, ‘VtechTurbo’ is another. ‘Cactus’ sounds charmingly self-deprecatory but ‘Prius’, ‘Picasso’, ‘Megane’ and ‘Rio’ are frankly baffling. And ‘Ikon’ – well, it’s Greek to me. Now, ‘Iconoclast’ (with the more orthodox spelling), that would look really good in raised chrome lettering and it would be saying something. I’d be really happy to drive around in a Vauxhall Iconoclast, the introductory paragraph notwithstanding!
They should employ me to name their new models. How does a Seat Sedition grab you? Okay, what about a Ford Fiasco or a Nissan Debacle? I think the market might be ready for a Toyota Bruhaha or possibly a Hyundai Harridan and I’m surprised nobody’s already thought of a Fiat Lux. Audi Anthrax? Perhaps not.
But I can see the cinema trailer ads now: ‘Express the inner you in a Renault Rodomontade’ or ‘Take control, take the flack, in Landrover’s new Mea Culpa’.
I’m only half joking – Honda did go for Charade.
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